Creating A “Tooter Town”

This past week, our cousins came over for a visit and informed us that they were thinking about moving.

A little background:

Our cousins are technically “Tim the Tool Man Taylor’s” cousins but mine by marriage. I actually consider them as a brother and sister in-law. They only live about 1 mile from our home and are always there for us when we need them…usually to bring over some toilet paper or ice when I don’t want to go to the grocery store. I call the husband “Mr. Workaholic,” his wife “Wife and Mother of the Year (every year!),” and they have two children, a 3 year old girl “Miss Know it All,” and their 4 year old son “Mr. Cuddle Bug.” However, this week they informed us they were thinking about buying 100’s of acres in the middle of no where and they wanted us all to move there and form a compound.

“Mr. Workaholic” and “Tim the Tool Man Taylor” thinks we can purchase this property and become sustainable. Don’t they understand that this week I killed a peace lily because I over watered it and that out of 5 tomato plants I planted, only 2 of them have survived? And now, they expect that I am going to be able to plant hundreds of corn stalks, pick beans, and milk cows? In a perfect world I would be like “Mr. Workaholic’s” wife, “Wife and Mother of the Year.” When “Mr. Workaholic” walks in the door she has his tea in her hand, a meal already on the table, kids already fed, 5 loads of laundry complete, and already baked a cake for dessert. And all of this done by 5:00pm! She is truly amazing and would be perfect for sustainable living. She is so good, she could even home school her kids while milking a cow. I am the complete opposite…I have about 10 loads of laundry overflowing the hamper, no food in the fridge, and I make a quick dash to McDonald’s for dinner. If McDonald’s or a Walmart doesn’t make it or provide it, then we won’t have it.

When I think about sustainable living I imagine this little town that was located about 10 miles from my mom’s house. It is called “Tooter Town.” It is a town with 2 signs about 500 yards apart (“Welcome to Tooter Town” and “You are Now Leaving Tooter Town”), a gas station in a double wide trailer, and about 5 families in trailers/homes in-between. On the sign it says population 9. I would imagine this would be us in the middle of no where with a sign that says “Welcome to Crazyville stay long enough and you will be just as crazy.”

Although this would not happen for another 4 to 5 years, I have already started thinking how are we going to sell the “thin mint” (this is what I call our house because it is a 1970’s mint green color and looks like the inside of an Andes Mint.) It has no master bathroom, no kitchen cabinet doors, and a pool that is falling in. Stress immediately fills up my body…there is no way in heck we are going to have all of this finished in 4 to 5 years to sell. However, by the time our house is finished, moving and creating our own “Tooter Town” might not be so bad after all.