Mental Break-down

I have been a mess…a complete and total wreck over the last few weeks….

Not only has my life been turned upside down over the last few months with the following….

1. It started with my own wedding this past May.
2. My mom got engaged
3. My mom sold her house and moved
4. My step sister had a baby
5. My mom’s wedding is in one week
6. My new step dad is in the process of selling his home
7. This weekend they are shopping for a new home
8. And did I mention my mom is getting married in one week and I am in charge of all the planning….

I am not sure where the time went… it feels like yesterday Tim the Tool Man Taylor and I were engaged, now I feel like we have been married over 20 years with a home that never seems to complete itself. I told a friend last night if I could give everything I own away I would accept an empty but complete home. But that isn’t necessarily true; I would always keep my new found leopard print couch (Thanks Mom!). We are just so frustrated and have completely neglected our home. Not to mention this wonderful recession we are having is not much help!

However, two weekends ago Tim the Tool Man Taylor reminds me that are making progress… it might be a little progress…but nonetheless progress.

Let me introduce you to my new rain barrel….fully equipped to hold thousands of gallons of water. You know because we are going “Green” now.

What the heck does “Green” mean anyway….I definitely like the concept but I have seen nothing that comes along with it worth my while. This barrel is supposed to hold rain water that will be used to water my beautiful lawn. Who the heck is going to be driving down my road looking at my beautiful lawn when they are blinded by the bright green siding and a huge hole in the ground? And now, Tim the Tool Man Taylor wants to build compost….no one will want to visit us because that junk stinks for miles and miles. Last week he put cow manure on my lawn to help it grow. I don’t know about you but this going “Green” is for the birds where I am concerned.

Miss Know It All

So for the past two weeks our cousin (Mom of the year) has asked us to take her little girl (Miss Know It All) to dance on Tuesday nights. It is by far one of my greatest joys not only because I love her as my own but because I know that before the night is over she has me bending over backwards for her and she will say something that will blow my mind.

For example last Tuesday we took her to dance and it went down as follows:

I went to pick her up at her house she was already decked out in her leotard, pony tails in place along with her tap shoes. She gets in the car and starts telling me the books of the bible. I just look at her through the rear view mirror thinking....if she misses one or gets one wrong how could I correct her. I mean this 3 year old knows all the books of the bible and I can't get past the first 4 in the New Testament. So we proceed less than a mile down the road to my house.

When we get inside I had definitely already forgotten about the tap shoes....until....I walk into the other room and I hear her in there tapping away on my brand new, very expensive, very dark hardwood floors. Yep....definitely left little scuff marks I had to hurry and change her into her ballet shoes before Tim the Tool Man Taylor catches both of us. Not only does he fuss at me for wearing my heels on these beautiful floors but the floors are a little touchy subject because he physically gets on his hands and knees and cleans them with Windex.....YES that is right ladies...to all of you wives out there....my husband, cleans on his hands and knees, my hardwood floors. I mean could I ask for anything more? They are so sparkly.

Back on subject... before we leave the house toward dance I take Miss Know It All to the bathroom one last time. I don't get to watch her during her classes so I thought Tim the Tool Man Taylor and I could quickly run to the grocery store. I mentioned this to her mother and she said it is okay as long as she doesn't need to go to the bathroom. So I take her literally right before we walk out the door where she sees my makeup bag and has to add a little powder to her cheeks and a little lip gloss (How could I tell her no?). Her class is only 50 minutes how many more times would she have to use it before I can get back.

Finally, as we are in the car on the way to dance....we hear the little GPS Miss Know It All in the back yell at us because we are not going down the same road as her Mommy takes her. Really, does she already know her way around this town? It is amazing. After 5 minutes....she really throws us for a loop to where we almost swerved off the road from so much laughter. She looks at Tim the Tool Man Taylor in the rear view mirror and in her sweet 3 year old little voice she says "so when are you going to put a TV in this car so I can watch it. I want one for me and one for my [brother]." Seriously did she just say that....can I say spoiled and a girl that knows what she wants!

In the car ride I repeatedly ask her if she still needs to use the bathroom and she replies with "no." Until we walk into the door of dance (there are about a hundred young girls running around....it is such a good birth control for me) she says she has to use the bathroom. Of course it is a number 2...I just look at her and say "thanks for saving that one for me." And she kisses me as I drop her off and she tells me "you are my favorite"....I just melt.

My YAYA's

First, let me say sorry to my faithful blog readers. I am just now recovering from my mother’s move with packing up her whole entire life into boxes. It was definitely bitter sweet!

Now on to My YAYA’s! When I mean YAYA’s, I mean exactly what you think….down to the tackiest hats you have ever seen.

I officially became YAYA “Mistress Rising Sun” on May 12, 2006 (The day I graduated college) along with my best friend. It was a defining moment in our lives where we had to give up our souls forever over a candle lit ceremony and swear to secrecy that any stories we hear from now on, will only be shared among YAYA’s . This weekend, along with our other 5 YAYA’s, we are embarking on our much anticipated weekend get-a-way. We are initiating a new member from Texas. Our newest member, whom is in love with angels, hearts, and peace signs, is so excited she has rented us a huge van. I imagine us going down the interstate looking much like this…..

It is so funny because we are all so different but exactly the same. Maybe it is our hearts that are the same in that our friendship means more to us than any worldly thing. This weekend will be full of laughter and crying…. in which, I can not wait to get it started! I could not live or breathe without my YAYA’s. For the past 25 years, they have shaped me into the woman that I am and I believe that I have a little of something from each of them….

From “Princess Five & Dime”: I have gained all of my motherly instincts and learned that happiness resides in the smaller more personal things in life.

From “Empress Loves A Lot”: I have learned to enjoy life to the fullest and savor every moment.

From “Viscountess Horney Toad”: Despite the name!.... I have learned to love unconditionally no matter what arises and to have the strength to overcome anything.

From “Duchess Loves to Laugh”: I have learned that it does not matter what others think about me and if it sounds ridiculous it might be the greatest experience of my life.

From “Empress 2 Shakes & A Shimmy”: I have learned that in a friend’s time of need, whether it be good or bad, always make myself available.

And From the newest Texas YAYA (I can’t reveal her name yet…): I have learned that we all need “world peace!”

Here’s to MY YAYA’s I can not wait to see what this weekend will unveil!

I am such a NERD

This week I have the pleasure of helping my mom clean out her house. This is a huge TASK considering she has accumulated stuff for the past 10 years and it is stuffed in every closest, under a bed, or in a cabinet. One of my favorite things to do is clean out. I know ….I am such a nerd and an OCD neat freak. So when my mom knew she had to clean out her house, I was the first to call because she knew things would be organized by trash, keep, and yard sale. Just like that show “Clean House,” with Niecy Nash.

The reason my mom is cleaning out her house is because she is selling it. And I don’t believe that we are in a down housing market because she had her house for sale less than 1 month and she is already closing this Friday. It is a crazy whirlwind…and what is even crazier is that she is selling her house because she is getting married.

MARRIED!!!!! This is such a big thing for my mom and for me. She has been a single mother since I was like 7 or 8. She has been very independent and taught me to be independent as well. (Sometimes this is hard for Tim the Tool Man Taylor because I am so set in my ways.) However, I am so happy for her and for her new “fiancée” that makes her so happy. I never thought I would see the day that she would let her guard down and actually settle down again with someone other than “Tucker.” This is my mother’s (used to be mine…another story) Maltese that I am pretty sure she has everything left to in her will. But….Mom’s fiancée is considered Mr. Wonderful. He spontaneously takes her places, lets her sleep really late, and even makes her breakfast along with the dog. WOW! My family is shocked by my Mom’s new casual and laid back demeanor.

Going through her stuff has brought back so many memories. I actually found a notebook between 3 of my closest friends in middle school where we shared letters about our middle school crushes and where we worried about what we were going to wear to school. To be back in those days…where you thought you had things to worry about!

So kudos to mom for letting me come through and clean out her old baggage so she can start new and refreshed with her new husband. However, I probably won’t be able to blog again until September 15th when she is actually out, because it will take that long to clean out the stuffed closets, under beds, and in cabinets.

Happy Birthday to ME!

Tomorrow is my 25th birthday! WOO HOO!! I decided long ago that this would be the last birthday that I would celebrate because in my opinion it is the age where I feel and sound “OLD.” I am no longer a teenager or in my early twenties. There are days I will think to myself that I still feel like I am 16 and then I quickly bounce back to reality when I check the mailbox and now I have all these bills to pay and Mommy is not there to rely on. When you are younger you always think about where you would be in 10 years. This was the question they always tried to prepare you for in high school, but in all honesty you never really know. When I was 15, I always thought by the age of 25 I would move away, live in this big city, and be making MEGA bucks .(Yeah I had big dreams!) Not living in the country, only a few miles from home, and working for peanuts.

Recently I have realized that getting old really STINKS! Here are the Top 5 reasons I am getting old:

5. Instead of having lunch dates with my girlfriends I find myself strolling through places like Barnes and Noble looking for good reads.

4. We went to a bar that I use to frequent while in college and while we were there, I realized I was the oldest girl there.

3. I can now use the word century to refer to my age. As one of my best friends told me this week “Holy Cow you are turning a quarter of a century old.” Thanks MO!

2. My friends call me “Gladys” because I have a form of osteoarthritis and I do have a rheumatologist on speed dial.

1. Tomorrow is the last day I get to look forward to something special for a long time. I can now rent a car and my insurance is lowered. Next, I will be looking forward to AARP and the senior citizen coffee at Hardees, but at least they have invented BOTOX since then! I intend to be a 60 year old still looking 25!

Our 3 Month Wedding Anniversary

Tomorrow, August 12th, marks our three month wedding anniversary. I could not help but reminisce back to our three month dating anniversary when “Tim the Tool Man Taylor” came to my mom’s front porch with 3 red roses. It was the sweetest thing I had ever seen however; my mother had a different opinion. I will never forget her face when she saw him standing there with those roses and my “goo goo gah gah” eyes blinking at him. I am not sure what she thought, but her eyes, and her facial expression were not happy by no means! Could it be that this guy was trying to sweep her baby girl off of her feet? Or was he just another sleazy guy that had stepped into her life that she was spending every waking moment with? I never asked her but “Tim the Tool Man Taylor” sensed her anxiety and needless to say I never received roses again until 3 years into our relationship. Now, I just look back and think how crazy I was over this guy I had only known for 3 months and I would have never guessed I would be married to him 4 years later and be crazier about him.

This week I realized two more reasons I love “Tim the Tool Man Taylor” more and more:

1. It makes me crack up every time he ignores me. Sometimes I make him do it on purpose… like when he is watching his favorite tv show and he doesn’t want to be interrupted I will say something important and if he doesn’t respond back to me I make up something along the lines of “I am having purple alien babies” just to see if he is really listening. I get a kick out of making up these absurd lines every time.

2. One thing about being married to or dating a contractor (as I am sure with any other job) is they don’t want to work on a project at home if they have been working all day. For example, this week I come home to find this new contraption:

Yes! This is a bar of soap on one of my hair rubber bands holding down the drain for the tub to drain out the water. I mean, I understand that this is the ugliest bathroom in history and that soon it will be replaced with a new master closet so why spend the money on new bathroom hardware? But….it only took us 11 months to build the roof on our porch to get rid of Stone Hedge… so how long will it take to fix the tub? I love my husband and all of his quick fixes!

Happy 3 month Anniversary Mr. Fix-It!

These are a few of my favorite things...

While I am writing this blog I am singing “Mary Poppins”…"These are a few of my favorite things.” This past week I have encountered some pretty amazing things that I must share. As I have said before…I love the internet! This week I discovered a new website http://www.polyvore.com/. Can I just say AWESOME. I am sure that fashion people in the LA and New York area would say it has been around for years but for me it is a new found obsession. You can pick your favorite clothing website, favorite celebrity, or even search for the word “high heels.” This site enables users to go on there and select clothes or accessories and put them together in a collage. It is so cool that I can search “forever 21” and see their latest clothes mixed with other accessories. Now please be aware the other accessories could costs thousands of dollars but the dress might only be $23.00! Whooo Hooo!

Also this week I am praising my Shark Steam Mop! It is so cool that I can clean all of my hardwoods in less than 5 minutes. We hosted a small cookout this weekend and the next morning clean up was so easy! I recommend a steam mop to all of those poor OCD souls like me who feel like they need to mop nightly.

And now for the biggest surprise of all….."Tim the Tool Man Taylor” has started to build our front porch. Shocked I know! This isn’t a big deal for all of you, but to me this is the ultimate gift. Let me take you through the process…

Stone Hedge: The beginning stages of our cement porch without a roof or columns. Now don't judge me on that "thin mint" 70's green siding. Or the awesome black eagle. I know you want that eagle... I will start the bidding at $10! Any takers??

And now the roof begins: I did threaten "Tim the Tool Man Taylor" with his life if he did not finish this project.

And today I come home to find this... YAY to no shutters and hardie siding!

Stay tuned for the final product...I am off to try to start the grill and not burn our new roof down!