I am such a NERD

This week I have the pleasure of helping my mom clean out her house. This is a huge TASK considering she has accumulated stuff for the past 10 years and it is stuffed in every closest, under a bed, or in a cabinet. One of my favorite things to do is clean out. I know ….I am such a nerd and an OCD neat freak. So when my mom knew she had to clean out her house, I was the first to call because she knew things would be organized by trash, keep, and yard sale. Just like that show “Clean House,” with Niecy Nash.

The reason my mom is cleaning out her house is because she is selling it. And I don’t believe that we are in a down housing market because she had her house for sale less than 1 month and she is already closing this Friday. It is a crazy whirlwind…and what is even crazier is that she is selling her house because she is getting married.

MARRIED!!!!! This is such a big thing for my mom and for me. She has been a single mother since I was like 7 or 8. She has been very independent and taught me to be independent as well. (Sometimes this is hard for Tim the Tool Man Taylor because I am so set in my ways.) However, I am so happy for her and for her new “fiancée” that makes her so happy. I never thought I would see the day that she would let her guard down and actually settle down again with someone other than “Tucker.” This is my mother’s (used to be mine…another story) Maltese that I am pretty sure she has everything left to in her will. But….Mom’s fiancée is considered Mr. Wonderful. He spontaneously takes her places, lets her sleep really late, and even makes her breakfast along with the dog. WOW! My family is shocked by my Mom’s new casual and laid back demeanor.

Going through her stuff has brought back so many memories. I actually found a notebook between 3 of my closest friends in middle school where we shared letters about our middle school crushes and where we worried about what we were going to wear to school. To be back in those days…where you thought you had things to worry about!

So kudos to mom for letting me come through and clean out her old baggage so she can start new and refreshed with her new husband. However, I probably won’t be able to blog again until September 15th when she is actually out, because it will take that long to clean out the stuffed closets, under beds, and in cabinets.

Happy Birthday to ME!

Tomorrow is my 25th birthday! WOO HOO!! I decided long ago that this would be the last birthday that I would celebrate because in my opinion it is the age where I feel and sound “OLD.” I am no longer a teenager or in my early twenties. There are days I will think to myself that I still feel like I am 16 and then I quickly bounce back to reality when I check the mailbox and now I have all these bills to pay and Mommy is not there to rely on. When you are younger you always think about where you would be in 10 years. This was the question they always tried to prepare you for in high school, but in all honesty you never really know. When I was 15, I always thought by the age of 25 I would move away, live in this big city, and be making MEGA bucks .(Yeah I had big dreams!) Not living in the country, only a few miles from home, and working for peanuts.

Recently I have realized that getting old really STINKS! Here are the Top 5 reasons I am getting old:

5. Instead of having lunch dates with my girlfriends I find myself strolling through places like Barnes and Noble looking for good reads.

4. We went to a bar that I use to frequent while in college and while we were there, I realized I was the oldest girl there.

3. I can now use the word century to refer to my age. As one of my best friends told me this week “Holy Cow you are turning a quarter of a century old.” Thanks MO!

2. My friends call me “Gladys” because I have a form of osteoarthritis and I do have a rheumatologist on speed dial.

1. Tomorrow is the last day I get to look forward to something special for a long time. I can now rent a car and my insurance is lowered. Next, I will be looking forward to AARP and the senior citizen coffee at Hardees, but at least they have invented BOTOX since then! I intend to be a 60 year old still looking 25!

Our 3 Month Wedding Anniversary

Tomorrow, August 12th, marks our three month wedding anniversary. I could not help but reminisce back to our three month dating anniversary when “Tim the Tool Man Taylor” came to my mom’s front porch with 3 red roses. It was the sweetest thing I had ever seen however; my mother had a different opinion. I will never forget her face when she saw him standing there with those roses and my “goo goo gah gah” eyes blinking at him. I am not sure what she thought, but her eyes, and her facial expression were not happy by no means! Could it be that this guy was trying to sweep her baby girl off of her feet? Or was he just another sleazy guy that had stepped into her life that she was spending every waking moment with? I never asked her but “Tim the Tool Man Taylor” sensed her anxiety and needless to say I never received roses again until 3 years into our relationship. Now, I just look back and think how crazy I was over this guy I had only known for 3 months and I would have never guessed I would be married to him 4 years later and be crazier about him.

This week I realized two more reasons I love “Tim the Tool Man Taylor” more and more:

1. It makes me crack up every time he ignores me. Sometimes I make him do it on purpose… like when he is watching his favorite tv show and he doesn’t want to be interrupted I will say something important and if he doesn’t respond back to me I make up something along the lines of “I am having purple alien babies” just to see if he is really listening. I get a kick out of making up these absurd lines every time.

2. One thing about being married to or dating a contractor (as I am sure with any other job) is they don’t want to work on a project at home if they have been working all day. For example, this week I come home to find this new contraption:

Yes! This is a bar of soap on one of my hair rubber bands holding down the drain for the tub to drain out the water. I mean, I understand that this is the ugliest bathroom in history and that soon it will be replaced with a new master closet so why spend the money on new bathroom hardware? But….it only took us 11 months to build the roof on our porch to get rid of Stone Hedge… so how long will it take to fix the tub? I love my husband and all of his quick fixes!

Happy 3 month Anniversary Mr. Fix-It!

These are a few of my favorite things...

While I am writing this blog I am singing “Mary Poppins”…"These are a few of my favorite things.” This past week I have encountered some pretty amazing things that I must share. As I have said before…I love the internet! This week I discovered a new website http://www.polyvore.com/. Can I just say AWESOME. I am sure that fashion people in the LA and New York area would say it has been around for years but for me it is a new found obsession. You can pick your favorite clothing website, favorite celebrity, or even search for the word “high heels.” This site enables users to go on there and select clothes or accessories and put them together in a collage. It is so cool that I can search “forever 21” and see their latest clothes mixed with other accessories. Now please be aware the other accessories could costs thousands of dollars but the dress might only be $23.00! Whooo Hooo!

Also this week I am praising my Shark Steam Mop! It is so cool that I can clean all of my hardwoods in less than 5 minutes. We hosted a small cookout this weekend and the next morning clean up was so easy! I recommend a steam mop to all of those poor OCD souls like me who feel like they need to mop nightly.

And now for the biggest surprise of all….."Tim the Tool Man Taylor” has started to build our front porch. Shocked I know! This isn’t a big deal for all of you, but to me this is the ultimate gift. Let me take you through the process…

Stone Hedge: The beginning stages of our cement porch without a roof or columns. Now don't judge me on that "thin mint" 70's green siding. Or the awesome black eagle. I know you want that eagle... I will start the bidding at $10! Any takers??

And now the roof begins: I did threaten "Tim the Tool Man Taylor" with his life if he did not finish this project.

And today I come home to find this... YAY to no shutters and hardie siding!

Stay tuned for the final product...I am off to try to start the grill and not burn our new roof down!

Mr. Wonderful

Sorry I haven’t blogged in a few days…I have been attempting to complete those 10 loads of laundry that has been haunting my dreams. I am down 3 loads…only 7 more to go! By the time I am think I am finished I will have accumulated 10 more.

Today, I am blogging on something I think a lot of girls can relate to. Recently I started reading at night. I did this several years ago but I gave up on trying to finish a book. I would start a book when I crawled in bed at night then after reading 2 pages I would fall asleep. I figured after a year and I had only got to page 60, I should give up trying. However, over the past few weeks I have picked up the hobby again (it is an excuse to skip the gym.) I have read 2 love stories (Nora Roberts & Nicholas Sparks) in less than a month and I have already felt myself changing. You know how a girl does…you start to feel all warm and fuzzy and the need to be romantic overwhelms you. By the end of the book, you think the story should be about your life and you do all you can to incorporate the lives of Mr. and Mrs. Wonderful into your own relationship. Okay maybe I am crazy! Maybe I am the only girl in the world that thinks this way! But, over the past few days I have found myself getting mad at “Tim the Tool Man Taylor” for not quitting his job and spending long days walking on the beach hand in hand while he whispers sweet nothings into my ear. I want Mr. Wonderful, Sporadic, and Does What Ever I Want. (Perhaps I should give up the romance novels...because does that really exist?) But then I have snapped back and realized that if he didn’t work and if he wasn’t who he is, then I would never have fallen in love with him in the first place. Once I dated a guy that did everything I wanted to do…and you know what?...He annoyed the heck out of me. If “Tim the Tool Man Taylor” always did what I wanted to do then I would have never learned how to venture out and try new things like lay and grout tile, go to a rodeo, or let him fly me around without a parachute (a blog for another day.) Sometimes I think the hardest job in life is being a girl. Then I think about the boys that have to put up with all of our complaining and nagging and the little things I have to go through daily doesn’t look near that bad!

Creating A “Tooter Town”

This past week, our cousins came over for a visit and informed us that they were thinking about moving.

A little background:

Our cousins are technically “Tim the Tool Man Taylor’s” cousins but mine by marriage. I actually consider them as a brother and sister in-law. They only live about 1 mile from our home and are always there for us when we need them…usually to bring over some toilet paper or ice when I don’t want to go to the grocery store. I call the husband “Mr. Workaholic,” his wife “Wife and Mother of the Year (every year!),” and they have two children, a 3 year old girl “Miss Know it All,” and their 4 year old son “Mr. Cuddle Bug.” However, this week they informed us they were thinking about buying 100’s of acres in the middle of no where and they wanted us all to move there and form a compound.

“Mr. Workaholic” and “Tim the Tool Man Taylor” thinks we can purchase this property and become sustainable. Don’t they understand that this week I killed a peace lily because I over watered it and that out of 5 tomato plants I planted, only 2 of them have survived? And now, they expect that I am going to be able to plant hundreds of corn stalks, pick beans, and milk cows? In a perfect world I would be like “Mr. Workaholic’s” wife, “Wife and Mother of the Year.” When “Mr. Workaholic” walks in the door she has his tea in her hand, a meal already on the table, kids already fed, 5 loads of laundry complete, and already baked a cake for dessert. And all of this done by 5:00pm! She is truly amazing and would be perfect for sustainable living. She is so good, she could even home school her kids while milking a cow. I am the complete opposite…I have about 10 loads of laundry overflowing the hamper, no food in the fridge, and I make a quick dash to McDonald’s for dinner. If McDonald’s or a Walmart doesn’t make it or provide it, then we won’t have it.

When I think about sustainable living I imagine this little town that was located about 10 miles from my mom’s house. It is called “Tooter Town.” It is a town with 2 signs about 500 yards apart (“Welcome to Tooter Town” and “You are Now Leaving Tooter Town”), a gas station in a double wide trailer, and about 5 families in trailers/homes in-between. On the sign it says population 9. I would imagine this would be us in the middle of no where with a sign that says “Welcome to Crazyville stay long enough and you will be just as crazy.”

Although this would not happen for another 4 to 5 years, I have already started thinking how are we going to sell the “thin mint” (this is what I call our house because it is a 1970’s mint green color and looks like the inside of an Andes Mint.) It has no master bathroom, no kitchen cabinet doors, and a pool that is falling in. Stress immediately fills up my body…there is no way in heck we are going to have all of this finished in 4 to 5 years to sell. However, by the time our house is finished, moving and creating our own “Tooter Town” might not be so bad after all.

The Money Pit

Have you ever just had one of those days where enough is enough? You have had all you can take and you just wish the time would come to go to bed and wake up refreshed and renewed. This was my day! When I came home I wanted nothing more than to relax out by my pool and swim a couple of laps to relieve the stress from a hard day at work. I dreamed the whole way home about my pool until I pulled into my drive way and snapped back into reality. We live in the money pit.

Yes! I mean just like the movie. We bought this house in hopes to turn it around. We never expected how long it would take. We work nights and weekends to try to get it finished but lately we have spent more time fantasying rather than doing the hard labor. However, just when we decide to fix something, something else breaks. It is a never ending battle. Once, “Tim the Tool Man Taylor” worked on the plumbing and the power went out? How do you explain this one?

Tonight I wanted to come home, kick off my heels, and run until I felt the cold water between my toes! If I started to run I would have fallen into this:

This is our pool. We had the bright idea to drain the pool at the end of last summer in hopes to get a new pool liner by this past spring. Fools we were to think we would actually have the grading complete in the back yard. When we think we have our vision complete, “Tim the Tool Man Taylor” comes up with another idea for a pergola or outdoor kitchen. By the time we have fantasized of our dream backyard it has turned dark and we have yet to do physical work. I guess tonight I will just have to settle for a hot bath and lifetime movie and hope tomorrow I will have the energy to get out there and measure the pool for a new liner.